Mom used to say that I always wanted to help the underdog. I guess this is one of those times. I called up my mom and told her that my friend and I were both kicked out, even though it was just her. I knew that my mom wouldn't let me go out onto the street and that she would take in my friend Kristal also. After all Kristal was my mom's best friends' niece.
Kristal thought that it was too boring at the house one night and decided to take a walk into town. She was hit by a car along the way. It hurt her but she was alright and decided to move in with her aunt at that point. Situation update; living back at home with Mom and my step-dad, whom I ran away from when I was 17. It was allot harder this time because I didn't have my brother living there. He was living in Ohio with my dad.
When I would call Dad he would plead with me to come out and live with him, but I had a secret. I was pregnant again and knew how he felt last time. I was too scared to tell anyone that I was pregnant. I didn't know who the father was, how far along I was, and how others were going to react this time around. My step-dad and I finally had a breaking point and I called Dad.
I moved in with Dad, his new wife, and my brother. I loved Dad's new wife. I continued to keep my secret. I was able to get a job and find a trailer for my daughter and I to rent. I found a babysitter also. She was super nice and had grand kids herself. She just had one quirk and that's when I entered a new world. She sold marijuana right out of her house. Besides the obvious, I thought she was great with my daughter and was cheap. I had no friends when I moved out to Ohio, so when I had any free time, I would spend it at their house. I didn't at the time partake in the pot. I think they were amazed at that. Every time I met somebody else, they all seemed to smoke.
Anyway, back to my secret. Dad always suspected, but I always assured him by saying " if I was I would know it". At my job, my boss pulled me to the side and asked and I had told him no. Nobody seemed to push the issue. I even started dating a guy from my work, we had sex and he never asked me. I just kinda forgot about being pregnant. Sad. One morning at around six-thirty, my water broke and I had to tell my date that I was pregnant and had to go to the hospital. He was surprised, but not mad.
I got to the hospital, which was 12 miles from my house, and told them that I was going to have a baby. They started asking me questions but I told them that I needed to push him out. They immediately rushed me to a room and told me to wait for the doctor to get there before I start pushing. To be honest I don't know if she was there or not, but I do remember telling them that I wasn't waiting and that somebody needed to catch him.
It should of been a magical moment, but all I kept thinking was how I was going to tell people. Dad, work, my son's dad. When I found out that my son was to term, it became super easy to narrow down that it was my best friends.
It is never a good idea to tell lies. Secrets are lies. It was suppose to be my son's day and all I could think of was myself. I never knew who to turn to,where to go. Believe me I did pray to God, but never knew which god. I hated him very much though. It had to be all his fault, right? No. My actions. My free will.
Until next time....
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