waking up confused

      Somebody last week told me that their dad told them not to drink, while holding a beer.  As parents, we need to lead by example.  I was taught that I shouldn't have sex with my boyfriend, but my parents weren't shy about it at all.  It would make me so mad and I don't know why.  They were married and adults but it use to make me so mad when they would just have sex in the middle of the day, or were so loud that it would keep you awake.  They also talked about it to all their friends.
   It took me awhile before I realized that that wasn't normal.  I think it was when I met Jason.  I was 20 when I met him.  I even compared him and his family to the Brady Bunch.
    I was 13 when I met my first true love.  We started having sex when we both were 14.  It was so easy to find time.  His mom was always out on dates.  When she would get back, she would tell him to stay downstairs because she brought somebody home and didn't want him to know she had kids.  We were unsupervised allot. My parents didn't seem to mind that I would hang out at his house all day long.  I just had to be home by 5 during the school season or dark in the summertime.  My parents starting having marriage problems and little by little they seemed to not care at all what I was doing.  At 15, it was great!  We were a "real couple".
   That "real couple" had a real wake up call.  At 16, I became pregnant. I felt so alone.  My true love wanted me to put her up for adoption.  Dad wanted me to abort.  Mom seemed kinda excited about the baby coming.  I stayed in school throughout my pregnancy.  I was always a good student and loved school.  I had that baby girl in the summer of 1998.  I attempted to stay in school through my sophomore year, but quit a month in.  I hated being picked on.  They would say things like, "be careful she is looking for a baby's daddy" or "do you know she has a kid at home, what a slut".  I couldn't handle being in school all day and coming home to a baby.  I chose to get a job in the evening, so my mom could watch her.  She worked during the day.
   I think I will stop with that today....
                   The reason for telling my story is to hopefully bring people to understand that we can change.  We can get right with the Lord.  I  want everyone to know that no matter how long the journey of life is there is a reason.