evil

    It's late and all I keep thinking about is how The Story is about to get dark.  If you don't hate me yet, there is still plenty to my story.
    I told my dad first.  He just said, "Duh, I knew."  I got fired from my job for not informing them and besides I was only a temp, and there were plenty of people to take my spot.  When I told my best friend, who wasn't by this time, he set up a time to come and meet him.  He met him once and was moving to Texas to go to college.  I never pushed my son on him because I knew that "best friend" was trying to start his own life.  After all, I was only 18 and he was only 19.
    After loosing my job, I hung out at my babysitter's house allot more.  I started smoking pot and drinking.  Mostly drinking.  I met a new guy and we just had a casual relationship, with casual sex, even though we didn't have feelings for each other.  We were driving around town one day and ran into one of his friends that needed a place to crash because he just got out of prison.  Why not move in with me.  Two kids and a casual relationship living there already.  (sarcasm)  Anyway, I fell in love with the ex-con.  Blind love.  He played good with the kids and didn't do as many drugs as "casual relationship" did.  Even though I couldn't pay my bills and finding food to feed my kids was hard, he always made it feel like everything was going to be alright.
    Mom thought that she would come out to Ohio and visit.  Meet the new baby and all.  She was downright disgusted with what she saw.  No electricity.  Not much food.  No money for even toilet paper.  I was bald again because we had lice issues.  She told me to be packed in a week.  That her and my step-dad were taking me and the kids back to Pennsylvania with them.  I left all other property behind and my "ex-con".
    I got a job the week I moved back and started saving for "ex-con" to move to Pennsylvania with us.  We landed ourselves our own place.  I stopped drinking but we both still smoked pot.  He was even able to get a job.  We were doing very well, until we met another couple.  They lived in a motel.  We would go over there all the time because we didn't have heat in our house.  The landlord never fixed it.  We stopped paying rent on the place until he fixed the heat and he said he wouldn't fix it until he got the rent.  We both lost out.
    We ended up moving back to Ohio and in with "ex-cons" sister.  He said that he couldn't live in Pennsylvania anymore because he was homesick.  What can I say I was in "love" and my daughter called him daddy.  His sister eventually told us that we couldn't stay with her and her family anymore because they would be evicted for having too many tenants. We decided to move to a motel.  Not a nice one either.  At the time I was the only one with a job.  "Ex-con" said that nobody would hire him.  I found out later that he never looked.  I eventually lost my ride to and from work and there are no buses that run like they do around here.  They don't even have buses.  My work was over an hour away.  Welcome to the middle of nowhere Ohio.  I ended up losing my job.
    Come to find out I was about to lose more then that.....
     I lost allot of peoples trust through this part of my life.  I hurt allot of people.  I thank God today that most of those people have forgiven me and gave me chance after chance.  If you think this is the worst of it and you aren't disgusted yet, I just want to warn you that The Story isn't over.  I do urge those that have just met me or have known me for only a little while, that you remember that I am not this person anymore and even I look back at this person and become disgusted.  I want to share so that you may know that even evil like this can come back to the Lord and be forgiven.