sex becomes casual

       I think some women wonder how others can become so casual about sex.  It can happen when other people become more important then oneself.  I thought that if I started dating my best friend, who was also friends with "true love", "true love" would see that being with me was still great.  He would surely see how happy "best friend" was.  If anything it gave me opportunities to see "true love" almost all the time.  I should have gotten the hint when "true love" found a new girlfriend.  She was a churchgoer, had an awesome car, and considering I shaved my head, she was also more beautiful.
    I became so angry with "true love".  He didn't love me anymore and I was so tired of fighting with him to see his daughter.  One night I thought I would really make him angry with me.  You know, give him a reason.  I slept with his best friend, which made his best friend late to pick him up.  No matter if he wanted to tell him or not, he could figure it out for himself.  Pure evil coursed through these veins.  It did make him really mad but it solved nothing.  I gave up at that point.  Nothing between us was never going to be right.
    I made friends with the manager at the restaurant I worked at.  She fell in love with my daughter and asked if  I wanted to be her roommate.  I jumped all over that.  It is expensive raising a baby by myself.  I was too proud to go for child support.  After all, was it his fault that I chose to not give her up for adoption?  We had allot of fun.  Movies, shopping and talking about work.  I had a real friend.
    There was another girl that worked with us and after talking to my roommate, she agreed to let her move in with us.  She wasn't too happy about it, but she allowed it.  The other girl was super nice but she was dirty.  We started getting roaches and lice in our apartment.  She was also allowing this guy, who we agreed wasn't allowed in the home, over every time we weren't there.  My roommate kicked her out with no place to go.  I felt responsible for this girl.  Should have realized that the only one I should have been responsible for at the time was my daughter.  I did not however.
    Not putting my child first was the first sign of me not being a good mom and somebody should have stepped in at that time.  I get so angry when parents say that it is nobody elses business on how they raise their children, but we need to understand that it takes more then one or two to raise children.  I am always open to ideas on how to raise my kids.  I pray that people call me out when I am not doing good enough.  That is one of the greatest things that I love about my mother-in-law.  After all look at the man she raised.
  Please continue reading.....ask questions about so far, but I will continue on what's to come.
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