After breaking it off with "ex-con", I stayed with my step-brother who lived in his cousins dirt garage. There was one mattress and he wasn't the nicest to live with. I didn't deserve any better anyway. I would drink every night. I hung out with this guy who use to threaten me with a gun. I always hoped that he would just pull the trigger. I would say things to provoke him but somebody else would always be in the way. I was able to get another job at a restaurant. Dad suggested that "step-brother" and I find an apartment together. He had no idea what my step-brother was doing to me. I never told him for fear of him not believing me.
We moved into this apartment together. Once again I was pregnant. I was pregnant way back when we were still in the motel. I just wasn't paying attention. Besides, "ex-con" said he was sterile. Never believe a man that says that. I didn't want to think about this pregnancy at all. I would think about stories of women that had miscarriages. I drank all the time and I would even try punching my stomach. The pregnancy just wouldn't go away. I just didn't care about anything anymore. I didn't lie to anybody this time. If they asked if I was pregnant, I would say yes. I hated everything and everybody. "Step-brother" ended up kicking me out. I started to stay with a friend's friend.
One night I marched over to "ex-con"s dad's house, when I knew he was there, and he took me back when he saw that I was pregnant with his son. When we got back together, we were able to stay with his sister again. I eventually went to a doctor to see how far along I was. I thought that maybe this baby would make everything alright again. When we went to the doctor, he explained to me that the baby had issues and I needed to give birth to him in Toledo. I blame myself even to this day, even though the doctor says it had nothing to do with what I did during my pregnancy. My son has an extra Y chromosome.
After he was born, they said that he wouldn't talk or walk and might even be blind. He was missing some folds in his brain. Right away they knew that he could see. God blessed him. He is able to walk and he is able to communicate through sign language. His left side is tight, but it doesn't hold him back. I went to the welfare office and was able to get housing, medical, and wic. You would think by this point, I would have learned something. But I didn't. Yep, there is more of The Story.....
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