It was less then a year from the time I met Jason, to the time we married. Some say that when you know who you are to be with, you just know. We knew. I was 21 and some would say that was young but for some reason I felt that I lived allot of life by then. We did what everyone else did. Bought a house, had a couple of dogs and gave birth to a set of beautiful twin girls. It took us a year from the time we started trying to the time we got pregnant. I thought God wouldn't allow me anymore children. I was blessed.
Things were going well. Just normal hiccups that life likes to throw on everyday basis. My husband started getting his own trials over two years ago. His dad, who I just have to say, was a beautiful person. He was nice, smart and great with my girls. They were his girls to anyone who asked. He was in such great health. Practicing for one day to run a marathon. It just goes to show you, when it's your time, God will take you. People ask why him, but knowing him and knowing the Lord, I ask why not? My husband's Granny passed a year and a half later.
Before I read the Bible, I had my own beliefs. Here they were. I believed that there was one god. My conscience was actually God talking to me. Including all the gut feelings that I receive when I go to do something wrong. I however didn't believe in a hell, because I couldn't see how a god that loves us could doom us into a hell. I did believe that Jesus was a powerful man and spread the word about God, but not a messiah. That Mary was not a virgin.
I knew none of the stories out of the Bible, but what I was told. When Jason's dad died I decided maybe I should read the Bible. Honestly, I thought that I could read it and somehow feel better that I didn't believe in it. That did not happen. The pastor who married us gave me a study bible to help me read it. It was a true help.
I realized that the beliefs I was most passionate about was in there. No doubt about it. Mary was a virgin, in our sense of the word. It was The Holy Spirit that gave her that baby. Jesus was our Messiah. Our savior. God's son. God in flesh. Hell is real. Satan is real. I do believe God talks to us through our conscience and also through gut feelings. He talks to us anyway he can find a way to get to us.
I started going to church last year. It is a United Church of Christ. No denomination. Just learning the bible. I feel that that is what church should be. Everyone is welcome. We are all equal sinners. No sin is worse then another. When I first started going I did not participate in communion, atonement, but did start bible study. I didn't know what I believed when I first started going. As time went on, I believed. I almost cry every time I take communion. I know I cry when I do atonement. Just think that God sent his only son to sacrifice himself for us. That is powerful!!
I was baptized a couple of weeks ago. The pastor asked if I would like to say anything and I didn't know what to say. I didn't think that I could explain how far I have come in my faith without telling my whole life story. I said nothing even though I wanted to.
If I were to talk today, I would tell everyone that even a sinner like me can be saved. We need to start by confessing, giving it to God, and changing for the best we know how. Keep learning. Always pray. Give your thanks for everything you have. I thank Him for placing the people in my life to help my children when they needed them the most. The families he placed in each of their lives was such a perfect fit. He is amazing! I give thanks to allowing me to mother once again and giving me the opportunity to fill their lives with His word. I give thanks for the husband and mother-in-law. I hear God speaking through my husband all the time. I give thanks for everyone that has taken time out of their own lives to read my story. Thanks for my church family, my pastor, and the gift to sing to Him on Sunday mornings.
I pray that all take something away from my story. Whether it is to read the Bible, look at your kids differently, attend bible study, or just sing a little louder Sunday morning, I am glad that it was a journey worth taking.
Thank you. God bless to all.
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